Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
