i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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