I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
