the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
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He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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