There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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