Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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