Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
