it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
