She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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