One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
send nudes
from the living room?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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