i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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