I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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