I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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