Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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