My hand turned me down
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
