wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
