Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
