I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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