i barfeds in our rink
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
