They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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