Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
