did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
no. you can't hotbox the world.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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