Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
