so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Randomize
