Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
