break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
