Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
