Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize
