I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
