Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
