6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
