so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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