i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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