how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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