it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
