He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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