I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
