I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
