If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
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I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
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fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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