I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
