It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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