would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
