Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
