It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
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sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
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Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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