there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
nutella sex= disaster
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
