So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
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Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
two words...techno handjob
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
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Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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