That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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