Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize