you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
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Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
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jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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