You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
