Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
