youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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