really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
