I wish I only lived at night.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
