I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
