just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
