This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
