i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
