yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
