Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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