We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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