shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
We don't watch enough power rangers
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
