just tell him i said nine months
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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