i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
