She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize